Monday, December 07, 2015

Allowing Our Children To Form Their Own Opinions


As most of those who read my blog know, I've been divorced once and married again, to Daniel.  The best thing that came out of my first marriage was Ali... my (our) oldest daughter.  

When I met Daniel, her biological father fled the scene - never to be seen again.  In all honesty, that was probably the best thing for Ali, but never-the-less a hardship for any child to go through.  My family was insistent that allowing her to have ANYthing to do with him (while he was still around) was the wrong thing to do, but that still small voice said something different.  I'll never regret the decision made - to allow him "in".  I was not going to be made the bad guy.  I was not going to be the scape goat for him.  I was never going to do anything that she could harbor ill feelings against me regarding the absence of her father.  I never talked bad about him (never lied for or about him either - she heard the truth), I allowed her to talk if he called, allowed her to go - if ever he asked, etc....  I just had faith that she would form her own opinion regarding him, in time.

It's been almost twenty-one years since she was born and nearly sixteen since she last saw him.  Sad reality, but there it is....  She's talked with us about meeting him again, someday - her decision.  I've given her my opinion on the matter and that would be that she waits until she's married; for protection, support, and reassurance.

But I'm always amazed at how God takes control of a situation, if only I get out of the way :o)  
She recently posted on her blog - her heart on this very matter - and I couldn't be more proud of her!  And I have to just say... I'm so glad I listened to the Spirit so long ago prompting me to allow her freedom in forming her own opinions on this matter.

If you're interested in hearing from a sweet, young adult heart sharing about her absent parent - I encourage you to grab a box of tissues and head over to Alisha In Progress; Do You Think of Me?


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