Thursday, September 11, 2014

OffendER or OffendED

Are there times when you encounter something that seems God's vindication can't come fast enough?  Come on God... you saw what that person did... that's just not right.  And of course there are things that happen that I [personally] think... really?  Why that person?

But when we're amidst something ourselves vindication (or learning) can't seem to come fast enough.

I remember my father telling me so....... many years ago:  "when it happens once you can look at the other person, but if it continuously happens you're likely the cause".  Things don't seem to change and those words are ringing in my ears today more than they have in a long time.  I'm not a person who "needs" friends.  Don't get me wrong, I like having a friend or two, but I don't need to be part of a huge clique.  I'm not a loner, but I just don't have to have everyone else's approval - I can make it withOUT someone by my side all the time.  Im fairly independent like that; comfortable with who I am in Christ. I like going out on my own.  I like to just sit in my quiet house.  I like to have dinner alone, every now and then (even at a resteraunt).  I love spending time with my husband and children, but quiet is good.  I don't mind NOT following the main stream ideas or NOT dressing the way Vogue or Cosmopolitan says I should.  I'm ok being me....

What happens though, in the quietness of our hearts when someone else pulls away without explanation.  It's not the pulling away that bothers me when it happens... it's the not knowing why.  Something I've told my husband is "it's not that they don't want to be my friend, it's the why.  It's not knowing what I did wrong."  You see, if we don't go to our brothers or sisters in Christ and confront them with a wrong or the something that offended us - then how are we to grow our walk in Faith?  We can't fix what we don't know is broken and can't become a better person.  If the offendER can't handle the truth and simply disregards the offense... well, the offendED has done his job and the other must answer for the behavior (to God) and lack of response to the offense.

I have this thing...  You see, I believe what I believe.  I stand where I stand.  I know that I know that I know.  And I base the things I do and the life I live on the Scriptural knowledge that resides in those Inspired words penned so many thousands of years ago - or at least I try very hard to.  However, there is a down side that accompanies this:  offending people.  I don't know how I do it - sometimes I'm a thousand miles away and I make someone mad.  Sometimes I haven't even talked to a person and they're offended.  Sometimes I'm friends with someone that I think believes the same and all of the sudden they stop talking to me for no apparent reason that I'm aware of.  If I go to whomever is offendED and ask if I've done something... the response is usually "no".  Wha.... then why aren't you talking to me anymore?

I'm just rambling about what's on my heart today.  I don't usually blog this type of post, but I thought if I've gone through through something - someone else may be as well and it may help.  I want to encourage you... if there's something that someone else has done that has offended you - go to them and tell them.  It could restore your relationship, it could grow that person, it could grow you, or it will simply take the responsibility of the situation out of your court and place it in theirs.  Either way - your part as the offendED is done; to tell the offendER of the offense.  The Spirit will work from there.


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