Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Penetrating Phenomenon

I was not raised a debutante or pageant contestant, but I do recall being instructed that certain things were not allowed at the dinner table.





We have recently encountered a gross, disgusting phenomenon that literally penetrates the ambiance of our dinnertime. We could be talking about anything, today's topic of conversation was sand dollars, when all of a sudden one of my delightful daughters will turn red in the face, start laughing, and let loose with a gaseous combustion, coming from either the north or the south poles, that is not appreciated by the others at the table. Our oldest knows better and most of the time, when it happens to come from her, it is truly an accident. Our youngest ticking time-bomb, however, does this and acts as if she is doing a dutiful service for the rest of family. As if we are the ones out of line when we respond with anything other than "thank you so much for gracing us with your fragrant presence". We truly thought this was just a stage and let it go for a while. It has only continued and I am gradually loosing hair from the pollution in our home (I stay home with them all day).
Well, we put a stop to it as of today. If either one of our 'little ladies' happens to slip - she looses mealtime. Whichever meal we are partaking in. Our oldest knew we weren't joking and did well in minding her own wind tonight, but our youngest must have thought we wouldn't DARE do anything as destructive as make her go hungry. (You see, if this happens they not only are excused from the table immediately loosing THAT meal, but they are not allowed to partake in a desert (if there happens to be one) or a bedtime snack. ) About five minutes into dinner she (our youngest) let loose with a belch that made me think of the cartoon characters belching; you know the ones - mouth open wide with their lips rippling from the immense amount of airflow. Well, she looked at me to see what was going to happen. With a quick flip of my thumb I pointed to the other room and told her "You're going to be hungry - go on". Of course she went off crying and guilt set it, but I know that little things like this have to be done in order to make a change.

In any case - the next time we want wind at the dinner table we will be opening the windows.

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